More on Meditation

ahoy,
so i am writing in response to an annonymous comment left about the previous post. first off i want to thank the sender who i presume will read this as well. i am very happy to recieve feedback, and as you all can see, now i have something new to wrtie about. as always, comments, emails, and such, are highly solicited. it seems as if everyday im more and more out there, so its nice to hear that im not completely alone. (and thank you to all the people who have responded and emailed previously, your comments were much appreciated) with that said, here is the comment (in red, with my commentary in black):

interstig that a young person would be seeking truth over fitting in; that tells a story. about your mind and the extra noise in your head that meditation reduces: do you think you have control over this process or that this incredible search for truth chooses you as a pawn to express itself through you so that other's may here it? like a leave falling in the wind its movement and rattling noidy movements make the play between wind and gravity visible for us appreciate.

as for seeking truth over fitting in, i would not be so presumptuous to say that i have banished the social and societal 'protocol' that i have been born into. but i do feel that everyday my concerns are more and more geared towards the betterment of myself as a human being. as i see it we are spiritual beings in a human existence (i read that somewhere), and often lost in it. anyone who knows me knows that i am perhaps the most blessed person on the planet (which can be both a gift and a curse) and i feel as though thus far i have not done justice to my good luck. so i find that what actually makes me happy and feels right, is doing what i can to be the best that i can. and while i will slip into lazyness and apathy as i always have, it seems that everyday im able to snap out of it quicker. so im trying to lead a 'good' virtuous life, which means that i really have to figure out what that is. so far i have found many things that it is not, which is quite a step in the right direction, and so i push foward. as to whether i know what im doing or whether it just comes to me, i actually must say that it sort of just comes to me. its sort of like i pick up a book, and it turns out the be the perfect book at the perfect time. or like i look around and omens are all over theplace, but i have just now started to look for them. so know when people ask me the why's of my life, i simple respond that i just do what im told, not quite sure whos talking, but i listen. and while i dont think im a prophet (in fact i feel guilty even saying it) or especially admirable, i do hope that people get somethng out of what i say (and i have faith that they do, especially the poeple close to me, and hopefully anyone who talks to me or reads this). i mean, i write this so that you read it, and in writing it i make it real for myself. this is the first time in my life taht i have taken the time to record my thoughts, so they dont slip back into the darkness the next morning. it like things that i have always felt, now i am able to act on because i have written it down. i guess the reality we live in only exists in language.

medition is like a ray of sunshine it either reaches you or is block by something. somehow do to the people around you you have been expose to the search for truth. most kids are block from that kind of exposure. either negative or positive experiences have brought you to this abbys between reality and what may seem real.

meditation is indeed a ray of sunshine, well said. and it seems like such a small one at times. i am quite new to this meditation buisness, and while im sure im nowhere near where i want to be, i have unwaivering faith that i am exactly on the right path (part of my luckiest man in the world thing). some days are much bettter tahn others, i feel like my mind really rests and grows, and for the rest of the day i feel like im a super hero or something. and other days, it seems my mind is so cloudy that i cant even think strait, much less not think. as for how i got here, i must concede all credit to the wonderful people in my life. from my mother who is the most intuitivly spiritual person i know, who taught me that you cant think truth, you can only feel it; to my father who so subtly and dilligently planted the seeds in me, from the forum to shambala training to his living example on how one should live. i must acknowledge my wonderful brothers and sisters (and i include my homeboys and girls in that category) who are all on the same path as me, making meaning in the inherently meaningless, and finding the ˜√®ø¥ in all of us that is the true us. while im sure taht somepeople might look at my life and say that i have had some negative things happen to me, i beg to differ. when i look at my life, i cant find any negative aspects. things are what they are, but suddenly here i am, at the other end of all those 'things' and im happy and content and on the right path. all i know is that im so grateful for being where i am right now, surrounded by love on all sides.

perception is the biggest asset for coping with the infinite and paradoxal nature of the universe. the universe is always sending you an array of messages. perception is your deciphering pad to translates the infinite into the finite. your ability to write is a gift. do not take that for granted. like a good athlete alot of it is intuitive. facing failure and defeat cannot be thought. kicking a ball properly is an illsuion. there is no such thing as practice. the time is now and rising to the occasion at each moment is an inherret gift we all posses you either acknowledge it or not.

now i must say that i am not quite sure what to say at the moment. im glad you appreciate my writing, and yes it is quite intuitive, perhaps a little to much at times, i should really at least read these thinngs before i post them. "the time is now and rising to the occasion at each moment is an inherret gift we all posses you either acknowledge it or not". now that is good stuff, and i must say that i was not aware of this, but now that i read it it is suddenly real. this is exactly what i want to do, rise to the occasion at each moment, its that simple, if we do it we're excellent, and any moment were not, than were cheating ourselves, and the rest of humanity. i guess you really have to 'be in the moment' to rise to the moment, which brings us back to meditation, the only way i see taht we can unlock the power of the present. our thinking mind is the only barrier between us and the eternal, so we must get our minds in check, there is no other way. i can only percieve what i can percieve at the moment, and everyday my perception is sharper and sharper i think (and i hope). i dont claim to know 'the truth' or the true nature of anything or just anything in general, but i know i dont know, and i think that is the biggest step you can take. first you are in the dark, then you find out your in a long tunnel, and now all i need is the light to lead the way, and i think that that light is meditation. blablabla

the noise is tremendous but is not going away and forever evaisive.

the noise is tremendous but is not going away and forever evasive.
i dont think i can say it better.

peace and love and keep those comments rolling
emiliUano

Why Meditate?

lately i have been doing alot of thinking about meditation. this has arisen for a number of reasons i suppose. i started meditating after reading The Mayan Factor with the thought that i should do something to prepare my mind for any coming transformations. the more i explore and think about the realms of our existence outside of the political world we live in, the more i see meditation as an access key to higher dimensions. as we all know, the power of the mind is quite remarkable. i personally have become more concerned with whats possible, than whats actual, which leads me to broaden my scope of poissibilities through meditation. through meditation i see so many things that open up. the possibility for peace and quiet within our own skulls is something that we have become so far removed from that we dont even know that it is accessible to us. by training and molding our mind we expand our reasoning capabilities as well as all the other things that we use brain for. when we free ourselves of the clutter and discoursive thinking (essentially talking to yourself) that we spend most of our time and energy doing we have so much more of our mental faculty to dedicate to the problems we actually with to solve. more often than not our mind goes where its going we we just go along for the ride, with varying degrees of complacency in the matter. but we never really try to excell, to push our big ol brains to what theyre really capable of. which brings me back to meditation, it is the only way to begin to train and tame our mind. i should note that since i started meditating i read this book about meditiation, Turning the Mind Into an Ally. this book serves as an excellent instruction for meditation geared towards americans/westerners who have grown up quite removed from traditional buddhist teachings. this book has led me to beleive that there are many things i want in my life that i can achieve through a consistent meditation practice. i think that the path of meditation, as it leads directly into our own beings, is the way to lead a truly good and virtuous life. virtue produces more virtue. i deeply feel this to be true. how long can i ignore it. it is the only route to happiness. every day i feel as though my mind has more and more power that i have chosen to ignore. it seems the most direct route to true happiness is through the middle of our own unhappiness, caused by our wiley mind. this is one thing of which i am positive, namely that the source of unhappiness is the emotions and reactions created within our own mind to the circumstances that continue to change and cycle within our limited perception.
it seems that one of the most generous and good things that i can do is to take time out of my day to just quiet my mind, with the hope that i will be able to sharpen my mind to the point that i can focus it on generating positive energy for the happiness of other people and mankind in general. essentially transforming the structure of the universe, by creating waves that uproot the cycle of endless suffering (samsara) and generate positive energy fields throughout the earth. the more people that sit down on a daily basis and attempt to do this good deed will braoden the scope and impact of it. throughout the world, how many people are taking their time to generate positive thoughts. all i see around me is people wollowing in the negativity that surrounds us, rather than taking the time to create a new possibility.
more and more i feel the urge to just go out and be by myself. i feel like it is difficult to start something new and just be with yourself when the outside influences that shape you are still there.

in closing i just want to leave you a few quotes from the book i just read by Sakyong Mipham:
Our own mind is our worst enemy. We try to focus and our mind wanders off. We try to keep stress at bay, but anxiety keeps us awake at night... We can create an alliace thtat allows us to actually use our mind, rather that be used by it. This is a practice anyone can do.

If you want to be miserable, think of yourself. If you want to be happy, think of others.

i highly recommend this book for anyone who has some interest in meditation but wants to know more about the why and how. peace fam.
e

My CannabaInternship

hello my friends,
i have just returned from my first weekend at my new internship. i am helping out at a medicinal marijuana plantation, yes, you read that correctly, i actually managed to hook that up. well mostly it got set up for me. as many of you know i have a bit of an interest in marijuana horticulture and because of the US's oppresive laws there is no opportunity for someone like me to learn anything. well, my mother being the crazy woman she is thought that this would be a great learning opportunity for me. and since hopefully one day it will be legal worldwide it might be good stuff to know. anyway, as the laws here in spain go, it is legal to smoke, or consume any other drug personally. this consumption is protected under personal freedoms. and since it is illgal to traffic drugs, and more specifically cannabis, the only way for patients who consume marijuana for medical purposes either smoke, or otherwise ingested, to obtain their medicine is from the woman i was helping out, who shall remain nameless just in case. she is the president of her local cannabis association and she consumes it for various medical reasons, not to deny the fact that she is quite an enthusiast herself. but who can blame her, how could anyone who has ever smoked not be facinated by the cannabis plant, so beautiful and useful, and at times so problematic. so anyway, the woman i was 'working' for has a small field that she plants the weed in, and what a remarkable field it is. simply put, that shit is crack, she grows the best marijuana i have ever seen, or smoked. she has developed some personal variaties throughout the years that are quite impressive.

but anyway, so the number one problem is the same as with any other marijuana plantation in spain, bandits. when i first met her on wendesday she had just had 8 plants stolen by some kids from around the town. because she is so famous for her anti drug law advocacy she has appeared on tv and such and the town knows what she is doing, essentially she has bought herself a card of legality since it has been proven that she does not trafic, but if fact uses it for herself and other sick people that are members of the association, all of them having been recomended by doctors. so i went out there on thursday and basically we spent the whole weekend on guard. she was glad for me to have come so she could finally leave the house to run some errands. basically she can never leave the house alone beause she will be robbed. during the weekend, the outer fence was broken twice, which i repared, but the dogs were able to prevent them from entering the plantation. there is nothing better than dogs when it comes to security, and she says she likes to keep bitches because when they have puppies (around this time of year) they are hyper protective. i basically just stayed over her house, which is such a pleasant place to be not just because of the weed, but becasue she has a vertable oasis, filled with olive, almond, and cyprus trees. she has at least 50 pots full of all different herbs and spices, palms and papaya trees, cactuses and chiles. it was so nice to get out of granada for the weekend and not party for once. to not go out, and go to bed early is a luxury i enjoy more and more every day. so i spent the days playing with my new favorite cat, Osiris, or manicuring the plants (fun at first, tedious for the remaining 90%), or repairing the fence, or somoking joints and just chilling out with her, learning about her art. she is what we would call an OG, she has been around the game for years, was the first person to ever win a lawsuit, she is friends with many of the big time growers in europe and america, intimate with some. she is even a friend of Jorge Cervantes, author of the Bible for those of you who know what that is. she has been given seeds by all of the big timers, which she grows and has blended to perfection, she has even been a judge in the cannabis cup, haha. next month shes going to speak at the european parliament. basically shes the godmother, the best person to learn from.
i learned about what medicinal marijuana is really about, not just an excuse for smoking. there are tinctues and ointments that she makes for herself and others, which require a huge amount of grass but dont get you high at all. so one person could easily utilize in one form or another the yield of 20 plants in one year, which even makes spains generous 3 plants per person policy seem oppresive.

allow me to show you some pictures no?
this is me harvesting one branch (not one plant, one branch) at our house before we got robbed


heres the view inside the plantation. there are many different plants and different stages of development. and theres one hammock with the most serene ambiance in the world








and here is a picture of me among the trees. "en la gloria" as they say around here. these plants are not only beautiful, but they are so well taken care of. not much to say









and here is my homeboy osiris. he is the first cat that i have ever really had any affinity for. hes a smart little guy whos a few months old. all of the animals at the house have quite a unique relationship, its like another small family, 2-4 dogs and 3 cats makes for quite a riot.










well i think thats all for now. im off to play soccer to make up for all the days of sitting around the plantation 'experimenting'. i felt it would be disrespectful to turn down a joing. as they say, when in rome, so since i havnt been smoking much, i was high as a kite all weekend.
peace fam
e

hmm Untitled

so i finished reading the book i mentioned before, The Mayan Factor, by Jose Argüelles yesterday, and i have been thinking about it alot lately. for starters i have to say that as the author himself mentions in opening, this book requires a leap of faith, even if it is only during the reading of the book. so in the spirit of adventure and exploration i took that leap and i have tried to take everything i read as being true in order to extract as much as i could from it. allow me to sum up this book in a nutshell (not a substitute for reading it, or even close) to give you some context.

as many of us already know the ancient maya of the yucatan and northern central america were known for being extremely advanced in their astronomical readings and such. they had even predicted the eclipse in mexico city in 1986 and all of this with 'stone age' technology. despite all this we only consider the maya advanced in relation to their historical context, there is not consideration for the fact that they may have in fact known things that are quite alien to us today. in decifering the mayan sacred calender/harmonic module known as the tzolkin, arguelles claims to have unlocked the secrets of the ancient maya. the mayan calender, as is also widely known, measures a great cycle of 5125 years which began in 3113 bc, coincidentally roughly the exact time (oxymoron i know) that civilization began in ancient egypt. now the reason that the maya begin measuring there, and that civilization began at that time is because it is when the earth entered a beam of galactic syncronization. what this means is that the galaxy and the entire universe for that matter is actually a living, thinking organism of a magnitude, needless to say, far beyond our own. the center of this intelligence is the hunab ku, or the galactic core. in essence the galaxy is organized into smaller systems, like the solar system, that have not been created randomly, but actually quite intentionally, all of them opperating much like cells operate within our own bodies. all of them seemingly opperating independantly, but inexorably linked to the greater whole. now the universe has a natural tendency toward growth, a will to improve in other words, much like we feel. and in the way in which this happens is that more and more systems come into concious syncronization. so intelligence reached the point on earth that it was ready to begin is syncronization, near the begining of this age, the pyramids of egypt were created, exactly a mirror image of the orions belt anchoring the earth to this beam. all of this was brought to the earth by 'galactic travelers' if you will (i know what your thinking). basically these travelers are some sort of intelligence, not necessarily a physical being, that has already been synced up to the galactic resonance, so they can travel freely among the stars. anyway, the galactic syncronization beam is what has been responsible for the explosion of civilization during the last 500o years. it is as though we stopped evolving individually and began a evolution in civilization. apparantly their have been several messengers throughout the years that have carried us foward on the path toward syncronization: the buddha, christ, abraham, quetzalcoatl. and the pacal votan, the mayan 'king' whose tomb was discovered in palenque in 1952. the tomb remarkably similar to the tomb in the great pyramid, the only other one of its kind. pacal votan was also a galactic agent who was responsible for creating the mayan astronomical system that arguelles has decifered, the 'man' who brought us the key to understanding.

i just want to say that i really need people i know to read this book so that i can talk about it with them. badly

so essntially we are all sort of part of the larger plan that we have been serving unknowingly for millenia. we are now a whole planet united by telecomunications webs air travel. and so here we are, and the cycle ends in december of 2012. and it is supposed to be the begining of a new solar era where we reconnect with the galactic core through the solar mind and the planet mind. but here we are, still testing nuclear weapons, and still eating the earth alive. arguelles wrote the book in 87, nearly 20 years ago, i wonder what he thinks today.

to be quite honest, i know im crazy sort of, but this stuff makes alot of sense to me. first of all, there are alot more mathematics involved that i have omited, there seem to be more coincidences than i cant explain by any other 'rational means'. but really, is it so crazy to think that the planet has its own intelligence, i mean, what does a brain cell think? i doubt it has any grasp of the human mind, just like we dont think the planet lives because it doesnt speak english, but the planet functions as systematically as any living organism, with even more resilience and addaptive ability. from what i know of astronomy, stars are created by density waves which condense the intergalactic dust past a critical point, with no explenation of what those waves are, but couldnt they be a creative intelligent force that actually wants the stars to be created? wouldnt this be the god that we always talk about? it is directly responsible for our existence today, and so we are not the result of random variation. are we so stuck in our notion of rulers of the world, sole inhabitants of the universe, that we cannot concieve of intelligences in comparison to which we are an ameoba. how could it be that we are the pinnacle of creation if we have no concept of ourselves from outside of our egomaniacal brains. there have been select few in history, enlightened ones, who have been able to see past the illusion of grandeur, and we worship them, but why do we not emmulate them, try to see what they saw, act as they acted. think of what is available to us if we could reconnect with the planatary/solar/galactic mind, it is the trancendance of individual death, the greatest goal of most of humanity.

and so i cant help to look to 2012 in anticipation, and apprehention. i personally have become convinced that there is something to the Great Cycle taht ends in 2012, i dont know exactly what will happen or what to expect, but i know that something is going to happen. the maya beleived it was the end of time, and that is interpreted to mean the end of time as we create it, and a return to the timeless void, an end of materialism, of individuality, and a return to the days when it was mother earth and father sun, when we were staisfied with our roles of children.

there is so much more to say, but i dont even know where to go from here. ideally i would get some responses to this and start somesort of dialogue that will help me clarify my own thoughts and hopefully yours as well. that is what i like about the blog, that now, since i am far from the people that i have most of the 'deep' conversations with, i can have one with all of you at once, it serves as quite an outlet, but i would also like some input. so HOLLA BACK. peace

Futbol Granada

hello friends and family. its been a week since you last heard from me and things have continued to improve with time. alot has happened in this last week. i have started to get into my routine, in the sense that i have figured out how to fill my days other than just reading, watching tv, and going out. my new theory is that everyday i try to exercise the mind body and soul, and then the special gland dedicated to having a good time. of course i dont get to all three every day, but its a theory that helps me focus my energies. thus far i was having some trouble finding a place to work out, mostly because it seems as though the soccer games here a re TOO organized, its impossible to find a pick up game where you can just play. so the good news is that i finally found a place to play soccer. its not a professional team or any team for that matter, but rather a consistent pick up game (halleluia). the university has a few indoor soccer courts (although they are outdoors) and ive been going down every to find some guys to play with. i really enjoy walking down even though it is a little far, like 20 minutes (only because i walk type a fast now, especially down hill) and i play for a few hours, do my stretching routine and take the bus up. since im not too attached anyone there the whole routine is a bit of a solitary meditation, it gives me time to get out of the house on my own and just think to myself without too much purpose. on another soccer note, i have now become an official Granada CF hooligan. one of the guys i play with invited me to come to the game last weekend with him, only to find out that he was a hardcore fan and we stood in the corner singing all the songs and saying some of the most profane things i have ever uttered to the opposing players and their relatives. it was awesome, exept that the team lost for the first time at home in a year and a half and to make matters worse the most hated player on the other team scored both of their goals, it was quite demoralizing. but yea, im gonna get a jersey, learn all the songs and all that jazz. i have always been a soccer fanatic, and now i can go to a game every other weekend and act like a maniac, instead of just yelling at the tv.

as far as the mind goes, i started my arabic classes today, and they went extremely well. im really exited about throwing myself into it, i know its going to take more effort than i have put into just about any other scholastic pursuit, but that exites me. its quite an undertaking, though, its like i need to grow another brain in order to learn it. despite the fact that its just another language, its so different than english and spanish. ive always heard that arabic is a poetic language, and after only one class i can start to understand what is meat by it. just the way it is written is so much more fluid, and im not talking about the shape of the letters either. ill describe it better later when i know more. but im really exited about it and im quite confident that by the end of this year i will be able to communicate in arabic. i think that the key will be to not try to compare it to english or spanish, but try to learn it like a baby, with a blank slate. the biggest stumbling block, as with most new things, will be to try and relate it to what i already know.

and as for the soul, i want to start sculpting. last year a took a sculpture class, and while i enjoyed it, i didnt really like the projects that we undertook. what i want to create are small 3D peices out of whatever, wood, wax, stone. i have always been atteracted to subtlety and i find that im no good at drawing so sculpting has been especially attractive to me. so i think i will start sculpting when i get a moment of inspiration.
the book i have been reading lately (The Mayan Factor) has been boggeling my mind body and soul. i really cant even get into it because i dont know what to say, other than that it is completely crazy, and i love it. it may not be the most accepted line of thought, but i think that i have become more and more attracted to that kind of thing as i get older and realize what accepted academia is really about. i want more about the science of magic, the expansion of the soul and consciousness, and galactic space travel. any suggestions? i highly recommend this book to people who want to challenge themselves and everything they have always though. ill say more about it when i finish it.

silvio and mom are doing very well. hes been horseback riding almost every day, and hes been hanging out with his friends and all the things thirteen yearolds do.

hasta pronto
-e