Querer Querer

ahoy
so ive been thinking and i want to see what you think. i read that languages are often much wiser not only than the most vulgar that use them, but also than the wisest. it is with this in mind that i started thinking about the spanish verb 'querer'. this word has two meanings: the first is to want, and the second is to love. it has been my intention to explore the relationship between wanting and loving. in spanish their are two words commonly used for love. the first, 'amar', is a passionate, romantic love. this word is used, or i should say i would use it, to describe the intense and mind numbing emotions associated with women that drive me crazy and FC Barcelona (thats right, the soccer team). like i said this love is extremely powerful, and it is often irrational, and always highly addictive, although i would argue that it is never quite satisfying. this is the kind of love that sent the greeks to troy, that makes men fight over women, that incites violence is sports fans, that makes people kill eachother over the fictiotious lines they call countries. i should also say that this love is not negative in itself, and that it is also responsible for love songs aplenty, some of the greatest, and most touching poetry (i say this in a rather detached way, as i have never been one for poetry), and other such romeo and juliet type things. this love can make a person forget themselves (which is a good thing [sometimes]) and do things that they never thought they were capable of. the point is, this kind of love is highly emotional, and when not satisfied can turn to equally potent, much more negative emotions, ie hate, jealousy and misery.
the second word for love in spanish is, as i have already noted, querer. now as i percieve it this word denotes a very different kind of love. it is a much more unconditional love, not dependant upon favorable circumstances. if amar comes from the heart, then querer comes from the soul. this is the equivalent of the greek agape that martin luther king wrote so much about. it is the love of a mother for her child, of a good man for his brother. if amar is a human love, than querer is a godly love. this love, if it is true, will withstand any trial, it cannot be broken and it does not have a negative counter part. in its infinite wisdom the spanish language has irrevocably tied the essense of the divine spirit with the the seemingly transient desires of the human will. could it be that while we struggle our whole lives trying to figure out what we want, that it has we have been saying it all along (for those of us who speak spanish that is. for the rest of you, the lesson is one and the same, and maybe you will want to learn spanish now, and if you live in the US you really should, i mean we are surrounded by spanish speaking peoples, of which there are already 50 million within out boarders). what we really want, although we may not know it, is to love, but not in a emotional up and down kind of way, but rather in the serene peaceful kind of way. in the way that reassures you that the world is in fact good, that god does if fact exist, and that you were in fact meant to be here. could it be that all of our selfish wants and desires, our constant search to find that 'thing' which makes us happy are meant to give way to the no-thing that actually can. if we are possesed by the godlove perhaps we will see that all of those selfish wants and desires are really what is keeping us from being happy, by making us think that there is something outside ourselves that can create true happiness, when if fact true happiness lies in forgetting about ourselves and doing this for the good of others. if you want to love then you will find yourself happy without having to look for it. you will see that god made you happy to begin with and that you have fallen from this by falling passionatly in love with your self. so i tell you as i tell my self, let us love as we want to love, from the bottom of the infinite well that is our soul. if we stop trying to make ourselves happy, and simply do what we know is right at every moment (as my anonymous teacher so wisely put it: rise to the moment at every moment), then we will be happier than we ever thought possible, and we wont poison it by trying not to lose it. and not only that but we will also be blessed with the greatest gift of all, the knowledge that you are an asset to humanity and that you are fulfilling your divine purpose.

well i didnt think that would come out like that when i started, but i like it. sorry for any typos
peace through love
emi